I have finally discovered just how I ended up in that pit. After the loss of our son, the grief I was experiencing became too much for me to bear. On my own. And instead of turning to my friends who love me dearly, I subconsciously began pushing everyone away. It started very subtly, for you know the enemy is crafty, but before very long I had cut myself off from the pain so completely, I found that I had shut off more than my feelings of grief, I had shut off all of my emotions entirely. I could find no true joy or peace. I didn't enjoy being with friends or family. I had hardened my heart to God, in order to "protect" myself from the pain.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
Boy, He sure knows how to speak right to my heart. I am humbled and honored that He would love me. Thank You, Father, for the gift of the Scriptures. Please remind me to turn to them when I am lost. And when I am found.
Upon further reflection of last night's posts, I find myself turning to Galatians 6 for a little reminder.
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently...Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
I thank our Father for giving me the gift of spiritual partners who walk with me daily. Even when I am choosing to push them away. My girls knew something was wrong and they gently restored me by reminding me they had always been with me and that I was not alone. The love I have for you is deeper than you could ever know this side of Heaven. Thank you, friends.