Saturday, April 12, 2008

Rough Waters

Yesterday was a really rough day. Not for the adoption, it was actually a great day with getting the home study and mailing it of to USCIS for fingerprinting approval.  It was a tough day because I let the devil prey on my negative thoughts which sent me into a tailspin.

Sydney had a really rough day and was very needy.  I had many things I needed to get done, but because of the way she would not entertain herself for even a minute I couldn't get anything done without her crying.  I realize now she simply needed attention and in the future I will stop what I am doing for a little while simply to play with her, hold her, or whatever.  I hope that will make whatever I am doing a little easier when I try to do it again. If anyone has advice on this, please let me know.  I want to be the mom she deserves and yesterday I was not.  

And I am starting to lose faith that our house will ever sell and we will not be able to move into the beautiful home we are building. We have put so much time into designing this house and planning every detail, if we don't move into it in July, I am going to be really sad.  I know God is in control, but I am beginning to think He wants us to stay put.  I don't want to make any more decisions about the new house because I want to get on board with not moving.  Tony came home with a negative attitude about selling our house on Monday and I let it affect me way too much. By the end of the week, I was so depressed about not selling our house I wanted to put a for sale sign in the yard of the other house, too.  Friends, please pray for us to sell our house and quickly because that is what I really want.  But also pray that if we are not supposed to move, God will help us be at peace with it.


Lori said...

Remember..."Silly girl! I wish you would trust me more." He says that to me soooo much, He must think He sounds like a broken record player! Isn't it nice that He's big enough to deal with our insecurities?!
SO loved talking with you!!

charlesclarknovels said...

A beautiful story! When I did my research for my newest novel, "THE IMMIGRANT", a story of an orphaned eleven-year-old from Mexico, I found the same adopton obstacles that you have described in your "journey". From a chronicological standpoint in the book, I had to conceive of some way to circumvent the process you went through. It made a good novel, however. I congratulate you and commend you on the adoption and wish you the best.